A few weeks ago a loyal reader of my blog and a fan of my Facebook page sent me a link to this article and asked for my take on it. I let her know that I’d share my take but it was going to take some time. Well, here it is. Self Magazine presents it’s best breakfast choices. I’m going to insert my take on each of these options below. Brace yourselves… I’m not holding back!
WARNING: This post is NOT for those who can’t handle a 100%, heart-healthy, whole grain, fat-free serving of SARCASM. This list of “foods” really boils my blood, so I need to let out some steam with the commentary!
|1. Best Cottage Cheese: Friendship Lowfat 1% Milkfat (90 calories, 1 g fat per 1/2 cup)If you want cottage cheese thighs, go ahead and keep eating this junk. Not only is it processed (remember, anything that’s had something removed, like fat, is processed), but it’s dairy which is a BUILDING FOOD. Think about when in an animal’s life it is supposed to consume dairy… right! At birth! So, if you want to grow, maybe this is okay, but if you’re looking to lose body fat, dairy is a no-no.|
|2. Best Granola: Special K Low Fat Granola (190 calories, 3 g fat per 3/4 cup)Granola is a super carb-dense, gut irritating food. If you want to jack your blood sugar WAY up (and your insulin levels as well), go ahead and chow on some granola. Heck, if you’re just getting 3g of fat from that granola, chances are that it’s LOADED with sugar.
Are you still trying to break YOUR sugar addiction? Check this out.
|3. Best Buttery Spread: I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter! Light (50 calories, 5 g fat per tbsp)Buttery spread… more like spreadable plastic. Look my friends, fats that are made in a lab (or a food processing plant) more closely resemble plastics to our bodies than they resemble lipids that we can assimilate in a healthy way to maintain cellular integrity. When it comes to fats, eat real fats. I already blogged on and on about this topic right here.|
|4. Best Turkey Bacon: Applegate Farms Organic Turkey Bacon (35 calories, 1.5 g fat per slice)Come on, does anyone even really LIKE turkey bacon? Or are we all just eating it because it’s low calorie/low fat? Yeah, I thought so. Stick around this blog and the Facebook fan page to learn exactly WHY fat isn’t going to kill you and, in fact, you NEED fat. That said, I’m actually a big fan of the Applegate Farms Organic meats in a pinch – they are one of the only brands I buy when I rely on pre-packaged meats. This is probably the ONE item in this list I am “okay” with, though I don’t buy it or eat it.|
|5. Best English Muffin: Thomas’ Hearty Grains 100% Whole Wheat (120 calories, 1 g fat per muffin)Oooh, “hearty grains 100% whole wheat.” Now those are some shiny words to stick on a package. Look at how fast they sell bland and tasteless processed plant foods when you call them hearty and 100% whole. Could you even IMAGINE eating one of these things without spreading something sweet or fatty all over it?This is a good article to read if you’re convinced that grains are the cat’s pajamas.|
|6. Best Unsweetened Instant Oatmeal: McCann’s Instant Irish Oatmeal, Regular (100 calories, 2 g fat per packet)Once again we’re back to the oats. Yes, I too thought these were the holy grail of health food back in the day. Now I can stop and think about how these plants get from the ground to my breakfast bowl and since I can’t imaging that happening with the power of my own two hands, I opt out. Oh, and they’re only 2g of fat per package, so that means they have to pack some SERIOUS calories from carbs into them… which just means more SUGAR to your body. Eat sugar > release insulin > store fat. That’s the simplified version, sure, but it happens. Eat some protein instead. I promise it’ll be healthier for your heart and your waistline.|
|7. Best Soymilk: Silk Light (70 calories, 2 g fat per cup)Oh, soymilk… how I love to hate you. I loved you for about a year, then I learned that you were made by processing cute, innocent little green soybeans in a big factory using a chemical called hexane and I immediately thought, wait a minute, this isn’t FOOD! Ick. Pass.
For more on soy, click here.
|8. Best Orange Juice: Florida’s Natural Calcium & Vitamin D (110 calories, 0 g fat per cup)Drinking juice is like drinking fat in a cup. Really. Watch Dr. Robert Lustig talk about fructose if you don’t believe me. You’re better off eating an orange than drinking the juice. I promise.|
|9. Best Frozen Waffle: Kellogg’s Eggo Nutri-Grain Whole Wheat (170 calories, 6 g fat per 2 waffles)More whole wheat nonsense. Seriously people, we’re going to have a nice, long talk about grains and whole grains very soon. The short story is this: grains irritate your digestive system AND get your insulin levels all jacked up. And by jacked up I mean raise them and cause you to store fat. Avoid.|
|10. Best Light Cream Cheese: Philadelphia 1/3 Less Fat Neufchâtel (70 calories, 6 g fat per oz)Ugh, am I still even doing this? Again… dairy is a building food, but this isn’t even REAL dairy, this is some kind of experiment- here are the ingredients (Pasteurized Nonfat Milk And Milkfat, Cheese Culture, Salt, Stabilizers (Xanthan And/Or Carob Bean And/Or Guar Gums). Okay, so it’s basically made from a processed dairy product and then a bunch of stuff to give it a stable texture. I used to eat this stuff, I’m allowed to bag on it.|
|11. Best Bagel: Thomas’ Hearty Grains 100% Whole Wheat (240 calories, 2 g fat per bagel)Can I just copy and paste my comments about their English muffin? I’ll spare you, re-read that comment if you must. Maybe more information on the idea of grains wrecking your digestive system would be helpful, hmm?
Read this book. It’ll entertain you and educate you at the same time.
|12. Best Cereal: Quaker Oatmeal Squares(210 calories, 2.5 g fat per cup)Wow, this one is oats AND square. That sounds like something that came straight out of nature and it really must be healthy. It probably also has tons of fiber. Mmm… fiber. I seem to get plenty of fiber from all the veggies I eat. You should try some. They’re the green and other brightly colored things in the chilly section of the grocery store without packages around them.|
|13. Best Shredded Cheese: Sargento Reduced Fat 4 Cheese Mexican (80 calories, 6 g fat per 1/4 cup)Ah, reduced fat cheese. You and I had a love affair for a long time. I was in college, you were there to help me gain weight when I needed you. Yeah… reduced fat dairy is not food. If you want some cheese, eat the real stuff and just have a little bit, then call it a day. It’ll taste a helluva lot better than this junk.|
|This fantastic resource isjust $21 and will teach youtons of great information!|
Here is a bio of one of the authors, nowhere does it list any credentials to be helping you to navigate the world of food and nutrition in an educated way. Oh, and here’s the other author’s bio… same story. They seem like very nice women, however, they have no authority to be advising you on your diet, sorry.
I realize that this may seem like a whole lot of new information for some of my readers. If that’s you, great! You’ve come to the right place to learn the truth about food. If you want more information and to learn how to really get healthy from the inside out, go ahead and contact me for some coaching. Or, if you want to get a jump-start on cleaning up your diet with just a little guidance from me, grab a copy of my eBook, The 21-Day Sugar Detox. It has tons of great information and recipes to get you on your way to a leaner and healthier body.