Healing Yourself with Kelli Tennant

#395: Healing Yourself with Kelli Tennant

Diane Sanfilippo Featured, Paleo and Primal, Podcast Episodes 1 Comment

Healing Yourself with Kelli TennantTopics

  1. Introducing our guest, Kelli Tennant [2:02]
  2. Kelli's story [4:32]
  3. Finding the diagnosis [13:29]
  4. Reparenting yourself [16:40]
  5. Generational trauma [26:15]
  6. Healing the inner child [32:16]
  7. Releasing self-judgement and shame [43:15]
  8. Dysfunction versus adaptation [52:51]
  9. Self-advocacy and finding healing [58:26]


The episodes are also available in iTunes, Spotify & Stitcher.


 Show sponsors:
NTA | Podcast Sponsor | Balanced Bites Podcast | Diane Sanfilippo

 

 

 

 

Healing Yourself with Kelli Tennant Healing Yourself with Kelli Tennant Healing Yourself with Kelli Tennant

You’re listening to the Balanced Bites podcast episode 395.

Liz Wolfe: Welcome to the Balanced Bites podcast. I’m Liz; a nutritional therapy practitioner, and author of the Wall Street Journal bestseller Eat the Yolks; The Purely Primal Skincare Guide; and the online program Baby Making and Beyond. I live on a lake in the mystical land of the Midwest, outside of Kansas City.

I’m the co-creator of the Balanced Bites Master Class with my podcast partner in crime, Diane. And we’ve been bringing you this award-winning podcast for more than 7 years. We’re here to share our take on modern healthy living, answer your questions, and chat with leading health and wellness experts. Enjoy this week’s episode, and submit your questions at http://balancedbites.com or watch the Balanced Bites podcast Instagram or Facebook account for our weekly calls for questions. You can ask us anything in the comments.

Remember our disclaimer: The materials and content within this podcast are intended as general information only, and are not to be considered a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Before we get started, let’s hear from one of our sponsors.

Liz Wolfe: The Balanced Bites podcast is sponsored in part by the Nutritional Therapy Association. The NTA trains and certifies nutritional therapy practitioners and consultants (including me; I’m an NTP), emphasizing bio-individuality and the range of dietary strategies that support wellness. The NTA emphasizes local, whole, properly prepared nutrient dense foods as the key to restoring balance and enhancing the body’s ability to heal.

The NTA’s nutritional therapy practitioner program and fully online nutritional therapy consultant program empower graduates with the education and skills needed to launch a successful, fulfilling career in holistic nutrition. To learn lots more about the NTA’s nutritional therapy programs, go to http://www.NutritionalTherapy.com. Registration is now open for their May class through April 26th. You can learn more and save your seat by going to NutritionalTherapy.com.

1. Introducing our guest, Kelli Tennant [2:02]

Liz Wolfe: Alright, friends. I had such an amazing conversation with today’s guest that we maxed out our recording time. So I’m going to jump right in. My guest for this episode is the amazing Kelli Tennant. She is the founder and host of Ceremony Wellness, a podcast dedicated to helping women heal deeply, physically and emotionally. Through her own 13-year; 13-year chronic health battle, Kelli left behind her high profile job as a TV host in LA to teach women how to advocate for themselves; be a resource for alternative medicine options, and a guide to work through emotional trauma and understand the mind/body connection.

She hosts events and courses where women can gather, feel supported, and learn about alternatives to the traditional path. I’m so excited for you all to hear this interview today with this powerhouse of a woman. So please enjoy.

Liz Wolfe: Kelli, I’m just really thrilled that we finally connected, and that we were able to bring you on the show today. Welcome to the Balanced Bites podcast.

Kelli Tennant: Thank you. This is truly an honor. I have been listening to this show for so long, and it’s been such an important part of my healing and everything that you guys teach about. I’m just really grateful to be chatting with you.

Liz Wolfe: Oh my gosh. And we just, for everybody who is listening; Kelli also has a podcast. And I just had the honor of being interviewed for her podcast. And it was a really amazing interview. Kelli is an amazing interviewer, so everyone needs to check out the podcast. This is the platform, right?

Kelli Tennant: Yeah, thank you so much.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. Ok. So when I typed it into my overcast; my podcast app, I typed The Platform.

Kelli Tennant: Yes.

Liz Wolfe: And it actually still popped up.

Kelli Tennant: Yeah. It’s called The Platform. Well; so this is part of the rebrand, though.

Liz Wolfe: Ah. Ok. We don’t have to talk about that. {laughs}

Kelli Tennant: {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: But yes. You're a wonderful interviewer. And we got to dig into stuff about; you asked me a ton of really insightful questions about parenthood, and about my journey. It was really a joy to be interviewed by you, so everybody needs to check out that episode for sure. I believe it will probably have aired right around the same time; but if not, just be looking out for it.

Kelli Tennant: Amazing. Thank you.

Liz Wolfe: Yes. Ok. And in the background, my dogs are going crazy, probably because the UPS guy is here. Sorry. I sent a text to my husband the other day, and I was like; there are going to be a lot of Amazon boxes. I need you to stay calm. {laughs}

Kelli Tennant: {laughs}

2. Kelli’s story [4:32]

Liz Wolfe: Sorry bud. Ok. So, the first thing I want to talk to you about is I would love it if you would really take us back to your youth. Because I know a lot of what you talk about on social media and in your podcast has to do with your journey from, like, athlete. Young athlete to where you are today. And you have been through a lot. So can you kind of take us through where you started and how it brought you to were you are today and all the things that I listed in your bio?

Kelli Tennant: Yes, definitely. So, you're right. It’s been a very layered, I would say 15 years, for me. Going through a lot of different transitions, and awakenings, and experiences with my health. So, I grew up playing volleyball and was fortunate enough to get a scholarship to USC. I had an amazing experience there. I ended up being the co-captain of the team. We went to a final four. And I would not have wanted to go anywhere else for school.

Unfortunately, after two years, I got very sick. I was bed-ridden for about 6 months. And I went from being in incredible shape; you can imagine, a top athlete in the country at 19 years old, working out, performing at a super high level to the next day my left leg went completely numb and dead. I couldn’t stand up straight. I couldn’t see straight. I was so depressed. And I was in extreme pain from head to toe. And I was so tired. Just walking a few steps was too exhausting for me.

It was overnight that my whole world changed. And I really felt like my life was ripped away from me. And during that 6 months, I went through a lot of different diagnosis. People thought I had cancer, and broken my back, and tore a disc in my back. And I was getting epidurals, and I was on a ton of different drugs. And no one could see anything in the scans. And it was a really scary time to be that young and that debilitated in a lot of ways.

And then the end of that year, I saw a rheumatologist, and he told me I had fibromyalgia. And said I would never play volleyball again, and that I needed to move on. And that was really it. There wasn’t a; ok, here’s our plan. And this is what you do. Here’s some Lyrica and some pain killers, and some more antidepressants. And we wish you the best. So that was terrifying, to be that young and that sick without answers. But my parents and I trusted the doctors, so we believed I had this mystery illness of fibromyalgia.

So for the next two years, I was loaded up on drugs. I was hallucinating. I was also out partying, because I was in college and I was trying to be a normal person and numb the pain at the same time. Which is never a good combination. So I was having a lot of scary episodes. There was a day when I was home, and my mom had to send one of my girlfriends over to my place. She’s banging on my door, and I come out. It’s like 10 a.m., I’m just making breakfast. And she’s crying, and screaming. And I just look at her, and I’m like; what is wrong with you? And she’s like, your mom thought you killed yourself. We’re all worried, and you're not talking to any of us. And we don’t know what’s going on.

That’s when I realized that the battle I was in was really, really scary. And really intense. And I wasn’t giving it the attention that it deserved. And everyone around me was really scared.

So after that, I got off all of the medication and I went the holistic route. I decided that food could be medicine. And in some of the research that I had seen, people had found success with being a vegan and a vegetarian. And I thought; I’m willing to try anything. At the time, that sounded so crazy to me. I’m like; wait, I don’t eat meat? I’m so confused.

Liz Wolfe: {laughs}

Kelli Tennant: {laughs} And if you know me, you know that’s crazy. So I cut everything out that I thought was bothering me. I did see a little improvement, but I think it was mostly because I was cutting out a lot of processed foods and sugars. And I didn’t drink for a few years. So of course you're going to feel better. And then I started feeling bad again.

And then I found paleo. And that really changed my life. And shortly after that I found the autoimmune protocol, which is the version of paleo that helps with chronic illness and autoimmune disease. And following that through Dr. Sarah Ballantyne and all of her incredible work as the Paleo Mom. That was when I found the most relief, physically, and mentally. I could actually see straight. And that my body didn’t hurt as bad. And as restrictive as it was, it made the biggest difference.

So I was off all medication. I was eating the right foods. I was doing all these things. And I had drastic improvement; but I wasn’t fully healed. And during this entire time, I was also a TV host. So I spent the last 10 years of my life as a host and reporter in sports. And I started in volleyball at ESPN, and I gradually moved through different networks. I was living in New York for a year, which was really bad. I was super sick at that time because the cold was a huge trigger for me. So I would be on the sidelines of games sobbing, and I couldn’t see straight. And I’m like; I can’t live in New York anymore.

So I finally made my way back to LA, and the Lakers and the Dodgers network start. So I am the host and reporter for both of those teams, as well as the Galaxy and the Sparks. And I have this big girl job, and I’m making a ton of money, and I’m doing all these things. Yet my body isn’t fully healed. And what I didn’t know anything about was functional medicine or Ayurveda.

So, even with the autoimmune protocol, there were still things that were missing for me, and I couldn’t figure out what it was. And I never really believed I had fibromyalgia, because it just didn’t make sense to me. But I didn’t know what else there could be, because that was the testing that I got; which isn’t even real testing at the end of the day.

So, a girlfriend of mine had been struggling with chronic illness. And she had a functional medicine doctor. So I ended up seeing her doctor, who is my doctor now, who saved my life. Dr. Lekkos here in Santa Monica. And he looked at me, and we spent 2 hours together. And the first thing he said to me was; you do not have fibromyalgia. I guarantee you that you have Epstein Barr, chronic fatigue, leaky gut. You probably have SIBO. And we’re going to do all these tests, and we’re going to fix this. And he was so amazing.

So we did all these tests. I had everything he said I had, and more. I have the MTHFR genetic mutation. I had a ton of issues with my microbiome and all of the bacteria that was happening. And my leaky gut and SIBO was really severe. And my Epstein Barr numbers were through the roof.

Liz Wolfe: Wow.

Kelli Tennant: No wonder I feel awful! {laughs} So we started treating that. For the last year and a half. And I feel amazing. And when I was introduced to functional medicine, I was shortly after introduced to Ayurveda. So I took the functional medicine, and the autoimmune protocol, which worked wonders for me together. And then I added in this component of Ayurveda. Which is 6,000-year-old ancient healing practices, and we are lucky enough to have Surya Spa here in LA with Martha Soffer, who is the Ayurvedic doctor who runs it. And she’s one of the most brilliant women I’ve ever met in my life.

And they do such a beautiful job of making that mind-body connection. And using meditation and breathing and mindfulness. Getting rid of toxicity in your life and in your products. Using massage and things like that to really get to the root of what’s going on. And they use food as medicine in a huge way, which is similar to the autoimmune protocol.

So, I moved into this plant-based, but still with meat sort of protocol. Where I wasn’t eating as much meat, but it was still a huge portion of what I was doing because I realized how healing it was. But I wasn’t getting enough vegetables. I wasn’t getting enough fat. And I wasn’t working on the emotional connection to everything. So that’s when everything sort of expanded in a really beautiful way, and my body has been able to heal. So I’m not really in pain. My fatigue is still there, and lingers, but a million times better than it was.

And during this process, I ended up quitting my job with the Lakers and the Dodgers in March 2018. I just knew that it wasn’t where I needed to be. It was toxic in many ways, and just not right for me. I wanted to be able to help other women heal, and serve them by creating resources and conversations that could help them on their healing journeys, wherever that was. Whether it was emotional, physical, or both. And I’m just so excited that now with a podcast and all of the courses that we’ve created, I’m using my background in TV. My entire experience in chronic illness. And pairing it together to have a bigger conversation. Much like what you guys do with this show.

3. Finding the diagnosis [13:29]

Liz Wolfe: Ok. I want to back up a little bit. Because, ok. I have so many questions for you. I literally don’t even know where to start. And I felt like {laughs} I almost felt like I was on that journey with you just now, as you were speaking. But my first question is; how long have you been living under this shadow of this fibromyalgia diagnosis before your functional medicine doctor told you; no, that’s not what this is.

Kelli Tennant: 2009 to 2017. No; 2007 to 2017. So 10 years.

Liz Wolfe: Wow. Ok. So in that moment, was there anger? Or was their relief? Or both.

Kelli Tennant: Both! I just; I was relieved that I had an answer. That there were tests that I could actually look at that said, based on my blood, and stool, and urine, and all of that, that there were these other things that were really the cause. But then I was so pissed.

Liz Wolfe: {laughs} Yeah!

Kelli Tennant: Because I was with world-renowned doctors. These are the best doctors you could get, and none of them ever thought to test me for any of this. And by the way, I forgot to mention. I had mono for 8 months my freshman year of college; which you get Epstein Barr with mono. It’s the virus that comes with it. Every doctor I saw knew that; not one ever thought to test me for Epstein Barr. Like; how is that possible? So western medicine failed me, and that makes me really angry. But then there is so much relief in knowing; I’m not crazy. Even though people thought I was.

Liz Wolfe: So, one of my other questions was; have you. And maybe this is not even a question worth asking at this point. But I was going to ask you, what you thought the trigger was. And it sounds like this mono maybe was the trigger. Or were there other things that triggered this cascade of just your decline in health?

Kelli Tennant: Yeah, I know we both talk so much about this mind-body connection. So I think that my body was so worn down, which allowed the mono to be so severe. Because I was not living authentically for who I am. I was so stressed out. I was so anxiety ridden. I had been suicidal starting at age 12, and I never felt like I fit in. I always felt like an outcast. And I always put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, and do things a certain way. And never disappoint anyone. I just carried these heavy burdens. And I think what happened all of this sort of filled up; Dr. Cabral calls it your rain barrel.

And in Ayurveda and his functional medicine practice, it’s this idea of all of these toxins and emotions and experiences that fill your rain barrel up. And then all of a sudden, one day it overflows and that’s when disease comes. And that’s what I think happened. I had all these emotional things that then allowed my immune system to crash. Which then allowed the mono and the Epstein Barr to crush me. So I think it was sort of a combination of both.

4. Reparenting yourself [16:40]

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. I guess you could say played on your vulnerabilities. Systemic vulnerabilities. So, when you were a kid. We have some really interesting scientific literature on the association between childhood trauma and autoimmune disease. But I haven’t read much about how depression or anxiety in childhood; which I guess would be a form of trauma. I guess you could say that. I haven’t read much about how that can affect the immune system or cascade into autoimmunity in the future. But it makes a lot of sense to me. Especially at that vulnerable time.

I was reading something about how up until you're about 7 years old, you're basically just being imprinted upon. And then the kind of level of your conscious mind as it kind of evolves is a really vulnerable time. And I think it’s really important; one of the conversations that we had on your podcast was this idea of reparenting yourself. And I kind of wanted to bring that in here. It sounds like you have amazing parents. At the same time, what do you look back and maybe want to say. Or what do you think about young Kelli, when she’s 8; you said 8 years old, feeling suicidal?

Kelli Tennant: Not until I was 12.

Liz Wolfe: Until you were 12. What do you want to say to her? What kind of compassion do you feel for her now?

Kelli Tennant: Oh, that’s an amazing question. The thing that I always say to that little girl is; it’s going to be ok. I see you, I hear you, and I hold you. And I have done a lot of work recently within the inner child space. And I have been having some episodes of almost throwing these adult tantrums that I realize is; it’s almost like the little girl inside of me is coming out and throwing these tantrums. And I’m being triggered by certain things. Whether it was in the last relationship I was in. Or just different physical experiences that I’ve had that take me back to that place where I feel like I’m not being chosen. I’m not important. I’m not being seen or heard. And it’s really, really painful.

Something that happened with my former partner; I had one of these episodes in December. And I didn’t know what was going on. I was almost having this out of body experience, where I was throwing this tantrum. It was so unlike me. If you know me, you know this is not really how I operate. {laughs} I’m pretty put together for the most part.

But we were in my bedroom, and he’s sitting on the bed. And I get up off the bed, I’m standing in the corner of the room. I’m sobbing, and I’m hitting the wall. And I’m just; I’m out of my mind. And I can’t figure out what’s happening. And I saw this 5-year-old version of me looking up and feeling like no one is listening to me. No one is seeing my pain or acknowledging it. And it’s so painful, it’s like I’m crying from a place I didn’t know existed. And he had no idea what was going on, because I didn’t know what was going on. I didn’t know how to explain it.

But he walked over, and he just wrapped his arms around me. And he put his head to my forehead and just held me, and just rocked me, and kept telling me it’s going to be ok. And I don’t know how he knew that that’s what I needed, but I needed to be held in a way where it was almost like I was a kid again, and someone bigger than me was coming in to tell me they had me. And that it was alright.

And I’ve had a few of those instances, and I’m so grateful. Because it sort of reprogrammed that experience for me as a kid, and I saw that there was a lot of healing that came with that. So I’m so glad that he did that.

But I think for me, I know we talked a lot about, in my show with your work in parenting and birth and pregnancy. My mom had a super traumatic birth with me. She almost died. She had staph infection. She had like 105 fever. It was an emergency C-section. They thought I was going to die, too. It was really scary. So they took me out, immediately put me in an incubator in the ICU for three days. No one touched me; I was basically quarantined. And my mom was on such heavy drugs; didn’t know what was going on. And her fever didn’t leave for like three days.

So that whole time, I never was with my mom. I was never held. And on top of that, once she came out of that, and we were both safe, she was still on morphine; for I don’t know what reason. But she was on morphine, and they wanted her to breastfeed me. And she kept refusing to breastfeed me. And I really believe in trauma even at that age and energetically sticking with you.

And I think that my whole life; and bear with me, because I just realized this like two weeks ago. But I think my whole life I have felt some sort of resentment and rejection from her. But what had happened, and I didn’t know, is that she was actually protecting me. She was; first, dying. And then, she was doing everything in her power to keep me from getting morphine in my system. She kept telling the nurses; absolutely not. I don’t want to breastfeed her. It’s dangerous. So she was protecting me, but energetically I was feeling rejected.

So I think that has caused a rift in our relationship in ways that we never understood. Because I had this feeling, or this story in my head that that’s what had gone on. So I think that has affected a lot of my stress and anxiety. Trying to be the perfect kid. Not make a problem. Just be this person and never disappoint them, because I’m constantly trying to prove that I’m worthy. And that can be pretty dark. {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. You're really speaking to how complex life and relationships and trauma; how complex all of that really is. How you can be loved, and not feel loved. And it’s not; I mean, we know, I think, intellectually how complex this type of thing is. But when you're really attempting to rise from it, or crawl out of it. I feel like that’s when the true depth; how deep this goes becomes so much clearer. And I don’t think we acknowledge this enough.

And I feel; obviously, like you have to feel so much for that little girl. And at the same time, feel so much for your mother. I mean, that’s basically what you were just saying. Right?

Kelli Tennant: Yeah, it is. And I think; it’s funny, I’m getting lunch with her and my dad this weekend. I have great parents. I’m so lucky to have them, and the way they love me. But I’m excited to talk to them about this, because I haven’t had this conversation with them yet. I have a feeling my mom is just going to start bawling. Because I think she feels this guilt. There’s almost this misunderstanding between us in the way I have felt, and the way I’ve been my whole life. I think she’s done her best, but she often felt like she didn’t understand me.

And my family always jokes that I really just don’t belong. Because I’m just so different. And it’s not in a bad way; they’re wonderful, and always make me feel important and loved. But I’ve always been sort of like the weird one. So I think this explains a lot, in that those first few days of our life together, the way it really left an imprint on me.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. And this is kind of, in a way, I guess that moment where the student becomes the teacher. Where the child becomes the mother, in a small way. It’s so interesting because we talked about this on your podcast, just 20 minutes ago, where I said I have amazing parents. Good people who love me, and I love them. And yet, I still have to grapple with things from childhood. And it’s so paradoxical and it feels so strange to love people so much and yet have the courage to acknowledge that it wasn’t all perfect, and also recognize that acknowledging that imperfection does not mean you are judging or labeling the people or situations from that time as bad or intentionally harmful. You know what I mean?

Kelli Tennant: Yeah, completely. And I think, for me, my mom had a really horrible dad. He was very abusive. To be totally honest, I was really happy when he died. Because he was such a dark force in our family. And my grandmother, who is the closest person I’ve ever been with in my life, and I love her dearly. She passed away about 10 years ago. But she sort of got walked all over. And she wasn’t really strong, and able to fight against that and walk away. So I think that dynamic was really hard for my mom. And I think that her childhood was so tough. It was so, so tough and so brutal for her. That I think she carries a little bit of that shame and frustration. And it’s tough.

So I think me doing this work for myself and my inner child and forgiving her for whatever it is I thought she did to me; I feel like I'm giving her permission to now forgive and be able to move on and not carry these heavy burdens that she’s had since she was a little girl, too. So then it in turn heals her little girl. I really do believe in this ancestral healing. And helping everyone around us with our own work, and the way we show up in the world.

5. Generational trauma [26:15]

Liz Wolfe: I 100% believe it as well. And this idea of generational trauma. It’s actually an area, I believe, of research in psychology right now. It’s something that my therapist totally embraces. And it’s something that we’ve dug into as well. I don’t think that my mom had difficult parents. My grandfather; and obviously, my mom respecting her privacy and all of that stuff. Her father was a World War II veteran, and we know those men came back with so much trauma, and an inability to process their emotions. They weren’t teaching veterans transcendental meditation, coming back from World War II, the way they’re doing today.

And her mother, before her, dealt with a lot of things during childhood. And it’s funny, because looking back. I mean, it’s not funny. But it’s interesting. Looking back, kind of assessing these different generational dynamics. This is what I’ve been doing with my therapist a little bit. Realizing that sometimes there are just flat out bad people, and other times there are people that you see in one way, but the story you hear about them is very different.

I know my great-grandmother; I remember her as kind, and sweet, and just a nice lady. But I also know that she was not particularly loving towards my grandmother. And that type of thing has generational repercussions. And to kind of bring the awareness to it, like you're doing, is really like; I feel like for a lot of people it’s that first healing step. And it takes generations before somebody; the weird one, like Kelli the weird one, is standing up and working to heal these generational wounds. And I think that’s really special.

Kelli Tennant: Thank you. Something I learned from one of my mentors; Paula Malice, who runs Women’s Space in Los Angeles. She was telling me, when she was on my show, about how she and her husband almost do work together as their inner children. So she goes back to being that little girl, and he’s that little boy. And it’s; how can they heal those wounds together in relationship as adults. And then, in turn, it’s the way they show up for their kids, by healing their inner children.

I think that when we can have compassion and empathy for people, and not just look at someone as their 30-year-old self, but look at them as a kid. And if they’re going through something, see that it’s because that child has a wound, or an emotion, or an experience that is coming through as an adult that maybe they haven’t worked through. And just really allow people to have that experience, and to support them, and to know that usually it really doesn’t have anything to do with you. It has to do with them, and their experiences. And some of the hard things that have had happened in their lives.

We can’t judge a book by their cover. And just because someone looks like they have it together, or whatever it is. We have to remember that we’ve all been little kids that have gone through things. We all just want to be seen, and heard, and loved. And feel valued. And I think if we can walk around in the world in that way, then we’ll have much better relationships, and there will be a lot more love rather than judgement and hate going around.

Liz Wolfe: I love that idea of sort of; not just seeing that for yourself but also seeing that in other people. It kind of shifts how we move through the world. And maybe you walk past somebody, and rather than thinking; why is she wearing Uggs when it’s 75 degrees outside. You think; you know, the inner child in me sees the inner child in you. Hope you have a wonderful day. You know?

Kelli Tennant: It’s true. I’ve been so bullied by girls and women my whole life. And so there was this particular woman that was about 10 years older than me that I worked with. And she was so horrific to me, Liz. I couldn’t imagine that a grown-ass woman would do this. {laughs} But now that I’m no longer in that job, and I’m out of the situation; I look at her and I think; wow. I am so sorry. And I’m so sad for whatever it is that happened to you in your life that you're now taking it out on other people. And specifically, other women.

It allows me to see her in a different light. Rather than this horrible woman that did mean things and I’m mad at her. It’s; wait a second. What did she go through? How hard was her life that now she has to take it out on me? And she has that insecurity, and that unsettled feeling within her. And I’m lucky to be self-aware and do the work. Maybe she’s just not there yet. That’s not her path at this point. It just allows you to forgive, and sort of move out of that negative energy.

Liz Wolfe: So not only have you been able to say; number one, that’s not about me. But you’ve kind of gone to step two, which is; I have compassion for this person and what they’ve gone through.

Kelli Tennant: Absolutely. Because I just think; god. We have so much going on. I don’t have time to hold grudges and carry this energy with me. What is worth it at this point? It’s not like she tried to kill me. She was mean to me, and did mean things and said mean things. At the end of the day, I can rise above that and I can look at her, and I realize that she’s having this really tough human experience and it’s not worth my time to carry that with me. And forgiving, I think, is always the best medicine for really anything.

Liz Wolfe: Today’s podcast is sponsored by Perfect Keto. Dr. Anthony Gustin and his teams have created a line of supplements that are super clean and effective, no matter what your dietary needs. Diane has been blending their MCT oil powder into her matcha latte lately. Not only are MCTs; medium chain triglycerides; a premium source of your body’s preferred type of energy, and help to fuel your brain and body, but there’s also no added taste. It makes your coffee or matcha wonderfully creamy. Check them out at PerfectKeto.com and use the code BALANCED for 20% off at Perfect Keto; and their sister site, Equip Foods.

6. Healing the inner child [32:16]

Liz Wolfe: Ok one of the things that you said a moment ago about your; oh gosh. Your mentor, I believe. And how they have done work; her and her spouse have done work, kind of acknowledging and working with their inner child. Is that how you phrased it?

Kelli Tennant: Yeah.

Liz Wolfe: I’m butchering it. Ok. So what that made me think of was this idea that healing, even if it’s just individual healing that it feels like is needed. Healing often occurs in relationship. And that might be just fleeting moments of connection with other human beings, or it might be long-term relationships. So, in thinking about that moment that you had with your partner. Or former partner. I can’t remember what you said. Oh my gosh, you just have my brain going 1000 miles an hour. This is so great.

So what I wanted to say then, when you were describing that moment, was that the fact you could access those emotions and give them a way out is just so amazing to me. And it speaks to all the work you’ve done on yourself. And it speaks to the fact that we really have to acknowledge and work with childhood trauma, all the way to the very, very beginning. To, like your birth day, to really get to the root of a lot of what goes on.

But thinking about how you accessed that moment in the context of a relationship, I wanted, maybe if you can speak on this idea of healing occurring within relationships. Whether that’s moments with a partner or former partner. Or with maybe somebody you’ve been married to for 30 years. How that can kind of work, and how important relationships are in the healing process.

Kelli Tennant: Yeah, it’s such a beautiful question. My former partner, Bruce. Who has been really my greatest teacher, I think, in this life? And I see why we were together for almost four years on and off. And everything that we went through, at times was really heavy. And I think, when I look at relationships in general. People in your lives as mirrors. And I really think that we get to learn lessons with everyone that we come across. Whether it’s a really small one or a really huge one.

And what Bruce did for me was allow me to see myself, and also see my deepest insecurities. My deepest needs. And the things that I really had an opportunity to work on. And we were able to do that together. So what I saw was a willingness in me grow over the last; especially 18 months as I got out of my job and really let a lot of toxic things go and start advocating for myself. He was able to teach me how to speak up for myself. And I saw ways that I was trying to mother him, and be controlling. My desperate need to take care of someone else, because I felt that that was my validation for being worthy, or enough. And getting love in that way.

For example, I always felt like I needed to take care of him. And I realize that a lot of that was because that’s how I felt love. And that’s kind of a helper on the Enneagram, as we were talking about earlier. That’s how we feel love. So learning to detach from that part of the relationship, and allowing him to be the man that he was, and not being co-dependent and not needing him to fulfil every part of me. I think those were really important things that we learned.

You can learn that in any type of relationship, as you were saying. Whether it’s with your parents or your friends. I’ve had situations with friends that are very triggering. I have a girlfriend now that I have felt a co-dependence with, and I had to step back and say; you are triggering me. And I can’t talk to you every day. You need a lot from me, and I don’t feel comfortable because I’m trying to break this habit of needing someone else to survive. And I did that with my mom my whole life. I asked her 30 times a day what to wear, what to do, how to make a decision. I never trusted myself.

So the last year has been really learning how to step into myself and my own voice. But the only way I think I get here is by being in all of these kinds of relationships, and seeing how it manifests in every part of my life, and how I can let it go. So when you let it go in one relationship, you're able to let it go in other ways. And then it’s no longer a part of your patterning, or the process that you are in. You're able to move out of that and move forward.

Liz Wolfe: So, this idea of codependency is really interesting to me. I think there was a fairly pivotal time in my life where my tendency to kind of always want a bestie. Always have that one person who is my number one friend. Right? I feel like that’s a little bit of that Enneagram 6 that we’ve talked about where I needed somebody who wanted to be around me. Whose expectations I could fulfill to make me feel like I had some backup. I had somebody who loved me. To make me feel ok.

And the interesting thing about the Enneagram, to me, is that you have these levels of healthiness in a personality type. So your particular personality type can skew towards unhealthy, and it can skew towards more healthy, where you’re kind of optimizing all of these traits and really letting them serve you in a really positive way.

But what I saw was this kind of pattern of codependency, and needing one person to like me best to feel ok with myself. I saw that turn; there are a lot of disappointments as a kid. When people didn’t want to be my friend, I feel like I was really traumatized by that. And then, as an adult right after college, getting involved in a very co-dependent friendship that absolutely imploded. And exploded at the same time. It was just very; just ugly, and co-dependent, and just devolved very rapidly. And it really kind of showed me the ugly side of co-dependency. And I really extracted myself from that situation, and became much more independent. Much more willing to make decisions based on my own assessment of the evidence, versus having to get 10 people’s opinion first to make sure whatever decision I made had support and backing of other people.

And, that was kind of a big moment for me. And I can’t even remember why I wanted to talk about that. But that idea of extracting yourself from codependency; it shows that other side. Of healing occurs in relationship, but you do have to be very conscientious and conscious of the attributes of that relationship. And why you're in it. And how it is evolving.

Kelli Tennant: Well, it’s such a huge topic. And I’m working through it now. The funny thing is, I didn’t even realize that I tended to be codependent until I was; right before I quit my job. My body completely gave out. It was one of the lowest lows of my life. So I was back to being bed-ridden, and I was on disability from work for 5 months. So every day, Bruce would come home from work, and I hadn’t moved. I maybe moved from the bed to the couch, but I definitely had not showered. I wasn’t eating. I lost about 15 pounds during that time. And I was doing nothing, except for being in pain and exhausted.

I completely went dark on social media. And no one really knew what was going on, because I left my life for 5 months. And what happened was, he would come home every day. And I made him my everything. I needed him to validate me. Tell me I was pretty, entertain me, have dinner with me, talk to me about everything. And all of a sudden, our relationship became so toxic because he was it. He was all I had, and I needed him for all of it. And it was so unfair to him. And it was not healthy, by any means.

But it was such an important lesson, because during that time is when I was able to really look at myself in the mirror, and be like; what are you doing?

Liz Wolfe: {laughs}

Kelli Tennant: On Instagram telling you you’re pretty and awesome every day, so now you're in a full blown panic and you can’t even survive. And you’ve cut everyone out of your life. The only person you see is your boyfriend, and you talk to your mom on the phone. And now, you're just in this place where you're completely empty, and you're reliant on everyone else to fill up your cup. And I thought; this can’t be what I’m turning into.

So I had to take a hard look in the mirror. And I had to really separate myself from that. And I ended up; after I got better and I quit my job and I started creating this brand and the show, I ended up moving out. So we were no longer living together, even though we were still in a relationship. Because I think; even though I didn’t realize at the time, I think I knew I needed space so that I wouldn’t rely on someone else for everything. And it has been a really conscious choice by me for the last year to create space within relationships and to quiet the noise so that I can hear my own voice and listen to my intuition and myself and not constantly rely on everyone else to tell me how to live my life.

So that’s how I’ve learned to trust myself. And when you learn to trust yourself, and you are tuned into what your own voice sounds like, you're no longer reaching out to external sources for validation or reassurance. And then, that’s when you become whole. So you know that you're whole on your own.

And it’s always a work in progress. I don’t think we’re ever completely whole. But we’re whole on our own, so then my goal now is to be with someone that I can be whole with, and we’re two wholes coming together to co-create and to live a really beautiful life. Rather than; I depend on you for the air I breath and I can’t survive without you please keep me afloat. That’s just not healthy. But I think we see that way more often than we see two whole people coming together to co-create.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. For sure. And even on the other side of that, two whole people that are not really maximizing their potential for connection. I think you probably see that a lot in marriages, or in really long term relationships. Where you have these two people and all this potential, but all of just the doldrums and the ho-hum of life just kind of create a lot of static between two people that could be doing a ton of really amazing work together.

Kelli Tennant: Absolutely.

7. Releasing self-judgement and shame [43:15]

Liz Wolfe: Ok. So, I have a few more questions for you. And I could talk to you all day, but I’m going to try and let you go. {laughs}

Kelli Tennant: Some day I’m just going to show up at your door, and say; please hang out with me and talk with me all day. {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: Oh my gosh, that’s fine. We can start a whole new co-dependency thing.

Kelli Tennant: {laughs} Great.

Liz Wolfe: We’ll talk about how we pulled ourselves out of it in another podcast in the future. Yeah.

Kelli Tennant: {laughing}

Liz Wolfe: So, my question now is; how do you not judge yourself for those low moments? How do you not look back on those things with shame, or guilt, or regret? I’m asking for a friend. {laughs}

Kelli Tennant: Exactly. I think it goes back to that inner child work. I look at myself like a little girl. I try and now talk to myself and show myself the grace as if I were my own kid. If I had a child, I would never shame her or guilt her for feeling bad. Or having a tough day. Or being judgmental. Or making a mistake. And going through the process of life. I would be there to support her. And I would be an ear for her and a shoulder to cry on. And just allow her to experience the process.

So I think if you look at it that way; I had friends tell me years ago that were older than me. They were almost like other parents. And they have a daughter who is about 10 years younger than me. She’s kind of like my little sister. And they would say; if Paige were you, what advice would you give her? And if you look at it that way, I would give totally different advice to her than I would to myself, of course. And I would have so much grace with her, and would show her so much love, and compassion, and empathy.

And if you always are able to almost take yourself outside of your body and look at yourself, and say; these are the ways that I’m here to support you. And these are the things that I’ve been through. And I understand that it’s really hard. And it’s ok that you're feeling this way. It’s ok that you got in a confrontation with your friend. Or that you didn’t get that promotion at work. Or that you feel like you're unworthy and not valued. These are the amazing things that I love about you. And this is what you bring to the world.

When you start having conversations with yourself in that way, that’s when everything changes. And then you're no longer judging yourself. And in turn, you don’t judge other people. Because the more love you show for yourself, the more love you're always going to emit out into the world.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. 100%. We talked about that a little bit in your podcast. And I talked about that the Liz hovering above the Liz on the c-section table, on the operating table. And at the time; feeling like that hovering Liz was maybe more prone to judgement and shaming than open hearted, supportiveness. And this idea that we need to practice that as much as possible.

I think I talked about Brianna Battles on your podcast, as well. But one of the things that she says that I love is; she says practice brave. If you want to be brave, practice being brave. And I just love that idea.

Kelli Tennant: Yeah. And it’s just owning the dark moments. I’m not always going to be happy and excited and loving and let me just inspire the world. I have my moments where I want to be that person, right? But I’ve posted pictures of myself crying on Instagram. And I do it because I want everyone to know; there are dark moments. We all go through that. And we should all have permission to really experience those emotions and be honest about it and have conversations in those dark moments. And ask for help. And share that we’re feeling vulnerable and hurt. And that we need help to work through it. Because there’s always that duality of going back and forth, and life is not always going to be hunky dory. It’s how you respond and really show up for yourself in those tough moments.

Liz Wolfe: So we talked a little bit about authenticity on your podcast. And talking about how the social media world, I think, is kind of leaning a little bit more towards authenticity and real connection, which I love. And one of the things that I love about your feed, and what you put out there for your community is that it is very vulnerable. It’s very real. It’s not that sort of middle space that we were in for a while where it was like; people would post pictures of themselves crying, and basically it was like one giant apology. Like; sorry that I look this way. I’m just really sad. It was just that kind of weird in between space, where people weren’t really owning their vulnerability. They were sort of apologizing for it. And one of the things I love so much about what you're putting out into the world is; there is no apology. There’s awareness of where you came from. And the process that you're engaged with, but it’s not apologizing for being real and being vulnerable.

Kelli Tennant: I think, for me, because I did struggle emotionally at such a young age of not feeling like I belonged, and not wanting to live anymore. I just always felt really isolated. And I always felt this pressure to be perfect, and have it all together, and to be this pillar of strength. For myself, and my family. My family would call me perfect Kelli. It was kind of the joke, because that’s how I operated and that’s how I wanted to be seen.

And it wasn’t until the last few years, where I realized that there is so much power in gathering and being supported in a community and a group of people that don’t judge you and that want to help you. And asking for help doesn’t make you weak. I realized that the more I shared my experience from a really real place, no matter how hard it was, the more I felt I was connecting with people. And I was giving them permission to be themselves.

And I think that one of my greatest gifts in this life is that I was given the strength to speak on really hard topics and experiences in a way that other people may not have, or at least not realize yet for themselves. So by me doing that, it gives other people permission to step into that and step into themselves. And their own power and own their voices.

And for so long, being in television; which is such a; I don’t even know what you want to call it. It’s just really low level. {laughs} When it comes to standards. It was always; you're not sexy enough. Your dress needs to be shorter. You're fat. You're skinny. Your hair is ugly. All these things that are obviously external. I was always so obsessed; I would have my hair and make up done every day for the shows, so then I would take one of the girls outside, and we’d stand in these corners outside the building where there was good lighting on a gray wall, and we would pose to take pictures. And I’m just like; ugh. I look back at that girl and I’m like; what were you doing?

Or we’d do bathroom selfies. I look back and I’m like; you're taking selfies in this awkward bathroom. Would you please just go live your life?

Liz Wolfe: {laughing}

Kelli Tennant: But I was so obsessed with this idea. And I thought; ok, if I post a good enough picture, people would like me. And then I was living for the likes. So now, I live to serve people. I ask myself every day; I have this on a sticky note on my computer. And it says; who am I serving, and what is of greatest service? And that’s how I post, and that’s how I go about my life.

If I am going to post something, and it doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel like it’s of greatest service to anyone, then I’m not going to put it up. And I often times will pick this picture, and I’ll write the caption. And then I’m like; not of greatest service. And I just delete it. Because what’s the point? If I’m not doing things to help people grow and learn and share my experiences in order to do that, then I’m not being authentic to who I am and it’s really a waste of my time and everyone else’s time. And people will know that. People know my voice now, and they know when I’m being real or not.

Liz Wolfe: See, I understand that in a way. And it’s part of why I don’t post to Instagram very much. Because oftentimes; I mean, there’s a balance, right? People want to hear from you. They want to see what you're doing. But at the same time, you're like; if I’m going to put something up there, I want it to be meaningful. I don’t want to just put it up there because the algorithm likes it.

Kelli Tennant: Yeah. People are so obsessed with the algorithm, and I think it’s funny. I understand; we need followers. I fall victim to this too, of like; I have to reach a certain number because it’s important. But at the end of the day, if you're not just sharing who you are and genuinely connecting with other people, then we’re really misusing social media. Some of my best friends in the whole world, I stalked on Instagram and found and now we are inseparable.

Liz Wolfe: I love that!

Kelli Tennant: But it’s only because we were being authentic and connecting. Otherwise, what’s the point?

Liz Wolfe: There’s that favorite word that we talked about on your podcast. You're openhearted. It’s my favorite word right now. I love that.

Liz Wolfe: Today’s podcast is sponsored by Vital Choice wild seafood and organics. America’s leading purveyor of premium, sustainable seafood and grass-fed meats, and a certified B corporation. Their popular Vital Box program delivers top customer favorites directly to your door. Any mix of wild salmon, fish, and shellfish that you prefer. Vital Choice offers a wide range of wild seafood; from top shelf Alaskan salmon and halibut, to Portuguese sardines and mackerel. Plus, mouthwatering grass-fed meats and poultry. Be sure to save 15% on one regular order with the promo code BBPODCAST or get $15 off your first Vital Box with the promocode BBVITALBOX from now through the end of the year.

8. Dysfunction versus adaptation [52:51]

Liz Wolfe: Ok. So I have two more questions for you. The first one might seem a little bit not quite elegantly placed in the conversation. But I wanted to bring it up, because I feel like you're going to get it. And maybe I’m just asking you to comment on something, maybe more so than asking a question.

But I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the idea of dysfunction. I think folks who struggle with misdiagnoses or mystery illnesses or anything oftentimes are sort of labeled with this word dysfunction. And I think it’s a word that we kind of throw around in the holistic health community sometimes to label people. They are having gut dysfunction. Or they’re having whatever it might be. And the word that I have been thinking about for a while is; rather than using the word dysfunction, why don’t we use the word adaptation?

Our bodies are always doing what they need to do to try to protect us. And generally we make decisions to try to protect ourselves. So when, for example, what I had written down here. At a certain point, for you, potentially. And maybe I’m getting this wrong. But potentially as a result of how you sought self-worth in childhood, volleyball kind of became a very big part of your identity. And in a way, that was an adaptation. And then when you lost that, it was an incredibly difficult time for you for many reasons. And that’s kind of the word that stood out to me several times, as we’ve been talking. This idea of adaptations. And how you're in these really difficult moments, but you have to, in some way, honor your body and your mind for doing what they can do to try to adapt to whatever it is that’s going on.

Do you agree with that? Do you think I’m onto something there?

Kelli Tennant: Girl, you are onto something! I love that so much.

Liz Wolfe: Ok. {laughs}

Kelli Tennant: I love your brain.

Liz Wolfe: Well I cannot take credit for that. That was 100%; there’s this herbalist. Susun Weed. Have you ever heard of her?

Kelli Tennant: No, I haven’t.

Liz Wolfe: No clue how I ended up following her on Facebook. But she pops in every now and then and says something. Like, she DGAF. She does not care. She is such a badass lady. And she’ll say whatever it is that’s on her mind. And one of the things that she said; and I think she was referencing actually drug addicts. Where we shame and we blame drug addicts, but really they’re just seeking a way to adapt. Anything they’re doing, it’s not out of self-destruction, even though it might look like that. It’s actually an attempt to adapt and protect themselves from whatever it is they’re feeling or running away from or whatever it is.

And that I don’t know if she uses the word adapt; she was talking about the wisdom of the body. And in a way, that is still bodily wisdom, to try and protect yourself from things. And the word, adaptation, I think is kind of just really become very strong and very much in the forefront of my mind. And almost anytime we’d like to label somebody with “dysfunction” or they’re struggling, or whatever it is. And really I feel like what we can look at it as is a wise adaptation, and now how do we give the body the tools to adapt in a different way.

Kelli Tennant: I want to do a whole show on this now. You have inspired me so much.

Liz Wolfe: {laughs}

Kelli Tennant: So, this is my whole life in a nutshell. And I think this is what people don’t realize is possible for them. You're exactly right. The body finds a way to adapt. It tells you what it needs, and it tells you what to do. We just don’t take enough time to listen, usually. And for me, I truly believe that all of my disease and illness is my body telling me that I need to be authentic. That I need to step into myself. That I need to own my voice, and be the person that I know I am. And I wasn’t doing it, so my body, multiple times in the last 15 years of my life, completely shut down to try and red flag me. And say; hey, this isn’t authentic. This isn’t you. We’re going to remind you. Come back to you. Focus on yourself. Because when you're really sick, you can’t focus on anyone else. You have to turn within.

And so I think that’s exactly what happened. Especially in this last time, right before I quit my job. I spent 5 months of my body trying to figure out what was happening, and adapt to what was going on. And it was clearing the way for me to see what was possible and allow myself to adapt into a new version of myself.

So the adaptation of my life has led to multiple times reinventing myself. And within these reinventions, I’ve now rebirthed. And I feel like a totally different person over the last three or four months. And it’s only because my body spoke to me. I listened to my body. I changed my surroundings, my attitude, the way I was stepping into the world. I reinvented myself, leaving behind and stepping outside of a negative life and path that was no longer serving me. And I became someone else in this rebirth. The person that I truly came here to be but wasn’t allowing myself to step into. And so I think it really is like that step by step process of; one, listening and getting quiet. And then going through and becoming who you were meant to be in this purpose. And owning yourself, and whatever it is that looks like for you.

9. Self-advocacy and finding healing [58:26]

Liz Wolfe: Ok. On that note, that amazing note. Last question. And I think this is really important for the folks who are just at the very beginning of; for example, a journey through chronic illness. Maybe a new diagnosis. Maybe an ongoing set of mystery symptoms. Whatever it might be. Who are listening to you and saying; I just cannot imagine ever coming that far. Number one; how do you advocate for yourself when you're in the depths of illness, like what you dealt with? And how do you find the strength to get to the point where you are?

Kelli Tennant: Such a great question. So much of what I talk about is advocating for yourself, within the health space and wellness. Because a lot of times you have doctors that are not advocating for you. They only know what they know, and often times, it’s from a textbook that’s 30 years old. And so you have to step up for yourself unapologetically, without shape, and don’t ever let anyone tell you that it’s a dumb question or that there is no validity to what you're saying.

So much of what I did was from Google. And no, I don’t want people to go into this crazy Google search that everything you have is cancer. Because that’s not true.

Liz Wolfe: {laughs} Yeah.

Kelli Tennant: So I do warn against that. But I think that listening to podcasts, like yours, reading books like the ones you guys have written. Looking to people that have done a lot of the research and have advocated for themselves. And listening to what they’re saying about it. That is one of the best ways you can learn.

I truly; my life changed when I listened to your show. When I went to thepaleomom.com. I just did everything you guys told me to do. I really listened. It is kind of funny, but it’s actually so serious. You guys are the ones that are licensed. You’re the ones that have gone through this. You're the ones that have healed yourself. You're in the experience. So I couldn’t figure out what was going on. And I was in a dark place where I didn’t even know where to begin the research.

So having resources like yours, and people that I could trust that were really out to serve, not to judge me or say; oh don’t eat this, you're a bad person. It was like; how can we heal your body from a really deep place and nourish you? That, I think, is the best way to do it. And not that I’m trying to steal your format, but I learned so much from you guys, and that’s what I’m trying to share, too. Just a wealth of information and knowledge that people can take from. Whether it’s from the study I’ve done in Ayurveda or functional medicine. Or just my own experiences to be able to read a blog or listen to a show. Or download something that could help you that I think is the most important thing. And I already forgot the second part of your question. {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: The second part of my question was more kind of; I don’t know. More out in the clouds. Finding the strength to get to where you are now.

Kelli Tennant: Oh, yeah. I think; I have a girlfriend who is actually suffering from really severe chronic Lyme right now, and days where she just doesn’t want to live. It’s really bad. And I remember being there. And whenever I talk to her, I remind her to take a breath. And know that it’s not always going to be like this. Though it may feel like this is your whole life and your whole world, and it’s never going to end. I promise people that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And if you do the work, and your willing to eat the right foods, and do the emotional work, and focus on the breathing and the mindfulness, you can work out of that space.

Something that I have been talking about a lot lately, because I do tend to be stressed, and have anxiety, and have difficult days. Implementing many dance parties into your day. And it may sound silly.

Liz Wolfe: No, I love that. I love concrete things that people can do to flip that switch.

Kelli Tennant: Yeah. The funny thing is, my girlfriend, who is struggling, text me three videos of herself this morning. And she’s having a horrible day. She didn’t sleep. She’s in severe pain. And she texts me three videos of her having a dance party this morning. And she said it absolutely changed her outlook and her day. And she’s just shaking that energy out, and remembering what brings her joy. And I think when we can remember what the joy is and what the joy feels like, then we’re able to work through the hard times.

I think the other thing for me is journaling, is really important as well. And I wish that I had done it when I was in the depth of my illness. Because doing it when you feel good is one thing. But doing it when you can’t get out of bed is another. And what it does is it allows you to get things off your heart, and out of your mind, and so many of us with chronic illness have that monkey mind. Where it doesn’t stop. So we’re constantly stressed and anxious. Plus, we don’t feel well.

If you can get all of that out; I really feel like a different person. I think I walk into the day so much more calm. I come from a very loving, heart centered place. And the thoughts that would run my life are no longer in my brain. They’re on the paper. It’s a way to let them go.

You can even write things down that you want to let go, and you can burn the paper. You can have that ritual to relearn and teach your body that you're no longer carrying that with you. So we actually created a journal that people can use, and it’s on our website. And it prompts you through; this is how I’m feeling emotionally, physically, what I want to manifest. How I’m surrendering and letting go. So you can really work through that process, and not carry that burden with you anymore. Because you don’t need to do it.

Liz Wolfe: Yeah. Just as a plus one for that; doing expressive writing, which is basically the same thing that you're talking about. It’s a concept that I found through the Back In Control book. I interviewed the author of that a while back in the Balanced Bites podcast, David Hanscom. He encourages you to write it all down, and then tear it up for almost that exact reason. And he works with people with chronic back pain. He’s a spine surgeon who tries to not do spine surgery. He actually works with his patients on healing their chronic pain without surgery. So that is 100% aligned with what you just said. And it’s a good feeling to dump that all out, and then rip it up, burn it, whatever it is.

Kelli Tennant: Yeah. It’s a brain dump. Just let it go and go on with your day. If you start just a routine of 5 to 10 minutes a day, I swear you will see the effects. Don’t put limits on yourself, don’t have rules around it. Just really show up and do it. And it is truly my favorite part of the day now. I look forward to waking up early and doing my journaling and having my quiet time.

Liz Wolfe: I definitely think that that was probably one of the most transformational things that I did early on before I even went to therapy. It probably almost single-handedly stopped my heart palpitations and was one of the reasons that I decided to believe the cardiologist. That there was actually nothing wrong with my heart, and that it was stress and anxiety. And when I realized I could conquer that with something as simple as expressive writing, that I could do a lot more with more work like that.

Kelli Tennant: That’s so amazing. I’m really proud of you. That’s beautiful.

Liz Wolfe: Well, and I’m happy that I remembered that today, because it was something I definitely needed a reminder about.

Kelli Tennant: Yes. {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: Ok. Well this was; I could just talk to you for hours. I cannot tell you enough how appreciative I am that you took the time to be on the Balanced Bites podcast. And that you take the time to actually listen to the Balanced Bites podcast and that you’ve been with us as a supporter for so long.

Kelli Tennant: Yes. I’ve done the Master Class. I put the liver in the blender with you. I follow everything you say. I have Eat the Yolks. I just really appreciate the work that both of you have done. And again, thank you for being a part of this little entourage I have of people that helps save and change my life. I am forever grateful to you.

Liz Wolfe: Oh my gosh. Well, likewise, my friend. Can you let everyone know where to find you?

Kelli Tennant: Yes. So you can go to KelliTennant.com. And my Instagram is Kelli M. Tennant, like Michelle.

Liz Wolfe: Perfect. And the podcast is The Platform.

Kelli Tennant: So we are rebranding. By the time this comes out, and this is the first time I’m saying this out loud to someone not on our team. So I’m excited. But it will be Ceremony Wellness.

Liz Wolfe: Oh, I like that.

Kelli Tennant: Thank you.

Liz Wolfe: I like that a lot.

Kelli Tennant: Yeah. {laughs}

Liz Wolfe: Ok. Perfect. Ceremony Wellness. So look for Kelli M. Tennant. Look for Ceremony Wellness. And I hope that we get to talk again soon. Thank you so much for being on the show.

Kelli Tennant: Me too. Thank you, Liz.

Liz Wolfe: That’s it for this week. You can find me, Liz, at http://realfoodliz.com/ and you can find Diane at http://dianesanfilippo.com. You can find Kelli at KelliTennant.com and at Kelli M. Tennant on Instagram. Don’t forget to join our email lists for free goodies and updates that you don’t find anywhere else on our website or even on the podcast. While you’re on the internet, drop over to iTunes or Apple Podcast and leave us a review. We would absolutely appreciate it. See you next week.

Comments 1

  1. “I think the other thing for me is journaling, is really important as well. And I wish that I had done it when I was in the depth of my illness. Because doing it when you feel good is one thing. But doing it when you can’t get out of bed is another. And what it does is it allows you to get things off your heart, and out of your mind, and so many of us with chronic illness have that monkey mind. Where it doesn’t stop. So we’re constantly stressed and anxious. Plus, we don’t feel well.”

    I absolutely recommend journaling as part of your morning routine. Works amazing along with a workout of some sort.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *